Miss Van Seethinbottom captivates the globe!

The past 100 visitors to my blog The Lamentations of a Lady have been from all over the United States, Canada, and Europe. But wait: also from Adelaide, Australia, somewhere in Siberia, the Canary Islands, Khartoum, Sudan, and Pune, India. To think that a consumptive, neurotic, wealthy waif could touch so many lives in so many diverse lands! Don't know if anyone finds this interesting. Don't care.

Has it really been five whole months since my last blog? Huh. Gotta work on that. I blame twitter, where I can distill an entire verbose blog into 140 pithy characters.

Don't drink and vote

I mean, come on! Just ask for a new ballot! It's easy: go up to the election official, publicly admit you're deranged and screwed up on a very simple and straightforward task, and ask if you can start over! Christ!



























Oh, wait...that looks familiar. Oh, yeah, that one was mine. What? Wasn't I clear enough? Shoot.

From Gualay to Wall-E: Bad Restaurant Spelling, Part II

Match the bad spelling with the correct spelling. Keep your eyes on your own paper and your hands to yourself.

1) Onion no eslace
2) Freez lethers
3) Orang well-s
4) Romanie lethers
5) Moyones
6) Shirop peeles
7) Fresser
8) Wall-E
9) Zouce
10) Amburgur

A) Walleye
B) Orange wheels
C) Mayonnaise
D) Frisee lettuce
E) Unsliced onion
F) Hamburger
G) Sauce
H) Peeled shrimp
I) Freezer
J) Romaine lettuce

What I'm Thankful For

The kids, natch
Having a job that is only in drastically reduced hour mode (not yet quite in layoff mode)
Obama, natch

Um...I'll have to search for some more...

Poor Advertising

I was almost tempted to buy this kitchen for my kids for Christmas until I saw the boy child's hairdo:



I'm pretty sure the kid's not included, but the mullet's presence kind of diminishes the allure. Plus, are those stirrup pants he's wearing? Naaahhh.....

What I was up to Election Night

Some video from 11/4/08 at Cedar-Riverside in Minneapolis; raw, amateur, and chaotic, just the way I like it:





This all went on for hours.

Halloween Hijinks

Well, kids, times are tough. Even for an oyster-shucking, wine-schwilling, stay-at-home-mothering, crappy-fiction-writing aging hipster like myself. No one is immune. My hours keep getting cut at work and Kat is contemplating a second job -- but where? I don't know how much opportunity I will have to put my special talents to work, since no one can afford oysters on the half shell anymore. People have their IRAs to consider. Ah, well; not much I can do other than open a bottle of Summit and sigh.

Ah, but let us avoid the big problems for now. Halloween was a success. My dearest pal Amber and I went to Triple Rock, then Palmer's (sorry, too authentic for a website), then back to Triple Rock for a good time. I dressed as M.I.A. The costume was supposed to center around a wig, but the label:



did not faithfully represent the contents of the package:



For $4.99, however, I don't rightfully have a grievance.

Amber went as Amy Winehouse. During the night, however, her beehive wig fell. Such is the price one pays for heavy drinking:



These guys, Jack and Mark, wanted their picture taken.



I worked with Jack like 10 years ago but he didn't remember me. Such is the price one pays for heavy drinking.

In sum, the night was successful, if by "successful" you mean drunkenly saturnalian to the point of regret and shame.

But enough about the good times; now is the time for slumber and, likely, nightmares about a Palin presidency. Go out and vote for the right individual tomorrow. Hint: the right individual doesn't pretend that a slightly higher tax rate for the ultra-rich is the same thing as socialism.